September is National suicide prevention month. I feel that it’s my duty, and honor to write about this subject. I’ve been around those that have felt that suicide was the only answer to problems they were having in their lives. I’ve heard stories of great sorrow, and loss. A person in a situation where they feel there’s no other choice but to leave this world is not doing so because they’re selfish. They just feel that it’s the only way to stop the pain that they’re feeling. We all know that the ones left behind suffer from the loss, but what about the one living in silent turmoil that just needs peace. Sometimes their peace is the ultimate sacrifice.

A dear friend of mine shared a story with me this morning that has truly torn at my soul. There are those among us that are trying their very best to do right by themselves. While they may suffer from some form of mental illness, there’s still a desire to quiet the demons. In this particular case, this gentleman was diagnosed with Schizophrenia. He was seeing his doctor, taking his meds and doing the things to keep things in order. For reasons unknown at this writing, he was switching his medical program. It could have been for any number of reasons. Closer to his home, higher level of care offered, we just don’t know yet. He chose a place to set up his care with and was given an appointment. Being that he was transitioning to a new care system, it was clear that he had enough medication before seeing the new doctor. The appointment time came close, and the new provider reached out and stated that they needed to reschedule his appointment. This put him in a position of running out of meds, but only by a few days, so it was figured that he would be fine. The office then reached out for a third time and asked to reschedule the appointment due to the doctor being out that day. This left him out of medication for many days. On the evening before his third rescheduled appointment, his demons had won the fight. His mother had found him with a weapon and tried to talk him back down, but was unsuccessful. He left this earth by his own hand in front of his mother. You now have the loss of this human, and his mother will suffer endlessly for her remaining days because she witnessed the end of her son’s life. Tragedy on so many levels. The ripple affect reaches far and wide.

This brings so many things to the surface that I write about on here. Mental illness is important. It needs to be treated in this country as any health condition. In my opinion, it’s the most important health, because it deals with your brain. Your internal thought process for all things in your world. How does it come to be that someone that is doing everything they can to keep in balance falls through the cracks so easily? There’s so much to unpack with this story, and the sad part is it’s not an unusual story. In fact, it’s very common. Suicide rates in males is four times higher than females in the United States. I purposely mention this because there are so many males that have been raised to believe mental illness, or a glimpse of it in their world is a sign of weakness. One of the very reasons that I keep talking about my mental illness struggles is so that other people (especially males) will see that it’s ok to not be ok. To speak out about their feelings, not hide them. To share with loved ones when they’re having feelings of doubt, loneliness, or depression. It does not make you less than! I say this because I was raised and then trained to be just that kind of person. To feel nothing, to show no feelings, to care for no one…including myself. We have to stand up and be seen.

This story is so traumatic because it was preventable. Something else we need to consider. Don’t look away when someone is in need. Don’t be so quick to judge, or label another. You don’t know their story and what they’ve been through, or are currently going through. I’ve started speaking out much more with those in my orbit because I want them all to become comfortable with sharing their feelings. I want people to talk, openly about things that have caused them to struggle. If we get this kind of network going, it makes you realize that you’re not as alone as you once thought you were. In my last blog I talked about a group of people at my work that surprised me with their kindness, and dedication to helping others. That pulled me back from the edge that I talk about all the time. When I start to spiral and begin to let the demons take the wheel. I know how I’ve felt in my life and when I’ve struggled the most. I can’t even fathom what this man was feeling to leave in the manner that he did. At my very darkest hour, I was saved by nature, and running. How I wish that someone could’ve been able to assist this man in some manner to let him know that tomorrow will bring new. To get him the medication that he needed. To make things right so that he could live out a full life.

Where do we go from here? We do our best to help, empathize, listen to others. Don’t point fingers, or giggle behind someone’s back. Take the time to put yourself in another’s shoes. Take that moment to be understanding, and feel what they might be feeling. This man’s story and many others like him are tragic. Please, take time this month to do your part to be a good human. Let’s look for a way to make the suicide rate in this country trend down. I’ll continue to write, work on myself, and look for ways to reach others. As I stated, I feel that it’s my duty. When you are in your hour of need, I’m sure you’d want someone to reach out and help you. To guide you forward and believe that tomorrow is a new day to start over and make things right.

Thank you so much for following along on my journey through this life.

~Robert/Zombie~