The other day a co-worker asked, “Why are people so mean?” This, of course, turned into further discussion among numerous co-workers about the anger that seems to be spreading like a virus throughout the country. Much like so many other times, this triggered numerous memories in my life as well as the heavy word that just hung in the air…WHY?

I’ll take you once again to my mind’s most familiar travel destination… During the years that I was working in the underworld, anger was a very common theme. I was taught and kept in check by a man who believed in both physical and mental abuse. At the time it seemed as though the physical was much more terrifying, but as time went on I found that the mental abuse became a lifelong battle. I was corrected at times when I wasn’t paying close enough attention – when I failed to capture all that was going on in a room, or “the scene” as he called it. I was smacked in the head, punched, pushed and had weapons held against my body. The words that came with each of these unsettling acts sunk deep into my soul. When you fear something, or someone so much, you either learn to comply with the demands, or get disappeared.

I bring this up because it may give you a glimpse into my mental structure and why I became such an angry young man. I think as time has passed in my life I’ve become more understanding of people and the rage that they carry. I’m not saying that I give them a pass, but I understand how they can get there. Not all come from the same type of abusive background as mine, yet others had/have it far worse. On the flip side, there are others who have perhaps never had someone tell them NO in their life. They’ve been catered to and spoiled to such a degree that they truly have no understanding of reality, because they’ve never been made to face it. A loving parent who, for whatever reason, forgot to allow their child to fail. They never allowed their child to lose or even told them NO when perhaps the time was right. On top of that, let’s mix in a gentle soul who has done their best to learn everything they can in the world. Their parents supported them but also allowed them to live and grow without the bubble wrap on. They’re smart, happy and fairly well balanced. You place all of these different versions of humans together in society and some things are bound to go wrong.

This is all part of the experiment that we are living through. We all have our own individual feelings, thoughts, fears, dreams and so on. No two are exactly alike and that is truly spectacular! I’ll step back into my own situation. The life that I’ve lived as well as everything I’ve gone through is something that my wife has learned about in our life together. She was blessed to come from a loving home that did so many of the good things. Nurtured their curiosity, furthered their education, taught them about faith, love and family. When we first got together and I met her family I was awestruck. They all seemed to be so grounded and wonderful. Not that my family was terrible, but it just felt so much different. It’s safe to say that I loved them all from the start because I felt they were genuine.

Karla and I weathered so much over the years with my mental stresses. She had to see me wake from regular nightmares and then begin checking the house until I was certain we were safe from harm. She watched me drag through so many days unable to sleep, and watched me crumble in tears for no apparent reason. To this day I still have moments when in crowds, or closed-in spaces where I start to shut down and feel a need to escape. Karla recognizes these times now and we move through them together. All of this is to give more understanding as to WHY people are the way they are, and angry.

In this current time, we’re all fighting harder to survive. Life has become almost too much for so many. Food is so expensive, and unsafe. Gas prices have soared to record levels making it almost impossible for people to get around. On top of that, diesel prices have added cost to the trucking industry that moves all of our goods about. Health insurance has become out of reach for many, schools are going under and there are no easy or immediate answers for any of this. All of these things when handed to all of the personalities that I mentioned earlier become a crushing weight. When you’re faced with making the decision to either buy food or prescriptions, it’s life changing. When you have to look at your children and are unsure how you’re going to feed them so they survive…it takes a toll. I’ve seen so many in my life do anything and everything to survive, myself included. Hunger that makes your stomach hurt to such a level that all you can do is cry, then turns to rage. The smallest thing can happen, such as a flat tire. If you can’t afford the gas in your car, or the food to feed your family, where does a flat tire put you? I think you see where I’m going here. To use the phrase “Be kind because you don’t know what someone is going through” is more than just a saying. It’s real. I’ve been using “Give grace” more and more. When I get upset with someone I stop and remind myself to give grace rather than exploding. I’m not perfect but I certainly don’t want to further someone’s pain.

For whatever reason there are some on this planet that have decided it’s o.k. to be horrible. To say terrible things, even when it’s not warranted. Being strong is not something that’s obtained by bringing harm to another. “Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing.” Peter 3:9 Reach inside of yourself and find a way to give grace. More times than not I look at a person who is spewing insults and anger and wonder what misery drives them. What brokenness is causing them to be this way? In those moments I feel pity, or sadness for them rather than anger.

I’ll close this out by circling back to the question, “Why are people so mean?” As you can see, there are so many things that bring this about. The question is, do we wage war with those who are angry, or do we turn the other cheek? Do we look for ways to make things better, or take it to the next level. Because I’m here to tell you that in so many cases the next level could be death. Look past that anger and do your part to snuff out the fire. Empathy and grace will take you there. Take it from a man who has sat on both sides of this and still struggles… it can be done.

Thank you so much for following along on my journey through life.

~Robert/Zombie~