“I’ll do that tomorrow.” “I can’t wait for retirement.” “I have a countdown clock on my phone for retirement.” “I’ll catch up with you sometime.” “We never see each other, we should do this more often.” “I miss you, we need to find time for one another.”

Do any of these things sound familiar? Have you spoken these words out loud? This blog is not going to be about shaming people for saying these things, I’ve said the words myself. This is more about trying to restructure our way of doing things. About setting time aside for the things and the people that are truly important. We wander through our lives always looking for the quickest way to get through. Speed has become a thing. Push to get through everything. Race to the store, sprint through each aisle as if you’re a formula one car on its final lap. All the while navigating your cellphone, planning the next day of work. When do we just stop and breathe? Why do we want to race through the only life we’re given?

As a youth, we’re all aware that I was into things that were less than pleasant. For as hard as things were, I always tried to find something in the day that brought me joy. In my case, it was more about my own survival, and maintaining sanity. While I felt trapped and had times of serious loneliness, I wanted more. I held onto the belief that perhaps I’d find a way to the surface. A place where the sun would warm my cheeks and make me feel alive. I did my best to find those moments.

When I had reached the point where I wasn’t sure I’d be able to continue in my life, walking the park was the turning point. I’ve talked about this in numerous blogs over the years. It was nature that found me, spoke to me, guided me forward. The trees, birds, the sound of the gravel under my running shoes made me feel truly alive. Made me feel that I wanted to be alive and part of this world. Each time that I’ve stepped into a park or onto the road to walk or run, I’ve wished for time to just stop. To stand still and let me just take everything in. I didn’t want to wish myself through the hours that I’d spend out in the sunshine. I never dreaded the soreness of my body. I was awakened to what life was truly about.

Now that I’m older and at times feel I’ve lived a thousand lifetimes; I still long for the simple things in the world. Growing up poor and having very little did one thing to me for sure. I learned that I was capable of surviving on very little. “Things” are just that to me. My desire for “stuff” is very limited. I’m rich already because I have a home to live in, food to eat, water to drink, running shoes to carry me on my adventures and a wife who loves me. When I tell people that all I really need are those things, they look at me as though I’m an alien.

At one point I felt the need to satisfy a childhood dream. I wanted to own a Corvette. I fell in love with the vehicle at a very young age. I dreamed of perhaps one day having one of my own. Well, that day came. I saved my money and purchased a bright yellow Corvette. The excitement of receiving the vehicle was amazing. That feeling faded out quickly and it became just something to wash and park. I began to seek happiness in other vehicles, not knowing that seeking happiness in things was pointless. I sat in my driveway one day looking at my latest “toy car” and wondered how I’d gone off track. I knew inside of me that my happiness was not derived from this vehicle. I felt the most complete spending time wandering. Sitting with my wife in our driveway taking in the sunshine and watching our dogs nap in the grass. Those are the moments that I always wish to slow. I never wish them away or think of the next day. I want to remain in the moment.

I went out this morning on my long walk Saturday and took in all the sights, sounds and smells as I walked. I wanted nothing more than to be at peace. The chaos from the week of work was now behind me and I just wanted to breathe. I cherish these times even more now that I’m “older.” I think about how much more time I have left and feel as though I still have so much yet to see. I have so much more to say, and to write about. I keep asking for time to stand still for me. I’d read an article about the most common thing said by people who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness. They all said ” I thought I’d have more time.” While so many take for granted the moments that they’re gifted, there are others who just want to have some of that time back.

I remember having a conversation with my sister Gini after she’d been diagnosed and knew her time was limited. I asked what she wanted out of the time she had left. She wanted to see her daughter graduate from nursing school, get married and have children. When faced with this illness her wish was simply to see her child live. She wanted time to see these things.

I had a discussion with a co-worker the other day that prompted part of this blog. The discussion was based on the question “what would you do if you were told you were dying?” All the things that you’ve planned for. All of the times that you’ve raced through your life. You’re now faced with a very limited amount of time. There’s so much to unpack with that, but I’m certain that I’d want to do all of the things that I love and enjoy now. I’d keep writing until my fingers were unable. I’d take my walks and see everything that I can. I’d love those around me with everything that I am, as I do now. I’d say the things that need to be said and leave nothing out. I’d try with all my might to slow everything down and just breathe.

Please, don’t wish your life away. Time matters, words matter, people around you matter. Take the time to slow everything down. Make yourself just stop when you feel the push of the world. Really see what is around you. I’ve talked about this so many times in my blogs. There is so much out there just waiting to be discovered, you simply need to open your eyes. My wish for all of you today is to slow things down…and breathe.

Thank you so much for following along on my journey.

~Robert/Zombie~